A Prodigal Marriage: A Real and Raw Inside Look (Pt. 3)

At the end of Pt. 2, I talked about generational curses.  Up until about 3 years ago, when I heard someone talk about generational curses, I immediately tuned out and that person lost all credibility with me.  I thought they were one of those nuts who saw satan and his minions behind every bush and in every computer.  But God, in His ‘I’ve got something I want you to know’ way, opened my eyes to what it really means. But I’m getting ahead of myself here, so lets continue down the road that lead to my rock bottom meeting with The Lord.

By the year 2010, I’d already had one full blown affair and was moving onto my second, all the while actively attending church and completely deluded in thinking that I was justified in doing so.  (NOTHING justifies sin…)  My husband asked me if I loved him anymore and in an abnormal moment, I answered truthfully.  No, I didn’t.  In my heart of hearts I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be straying.  I wanted to leave and he asked me to.  The next thing I knew, my plans were shattered and I was circling the drain.  I’d lost my kids, they wanted to live with Daddy in their home.  I didn’t have a car, a job, a hope in the world.  I hated my husband  fiercely for everything, because as usual, I blamed him for my problems that I’d created.  I still went to church every sunday, praying that God would put me back into His Will.  Funny how He listens…

About 2 months after our separation,  I was sitting alone in my home, praying for direction.  I’d finally gotten a car the day before and wanted to finally go for a drive!  I hadn’t been to my father’s grave in a long time, so I decided to head there.  During the half hour drive, I prayed some more.  At the time, God was my only companion, He’d taken everyone else out of my life so He could get me to focus on Him.  That’s how stubborn I was.  My husband began to weigh on my heart while I was reflecting and praying, so without thinking (that’s code for ‘God’s working through you) I sent him a text saying I was sorry and that I still loved him.  In hindsight, that was the moment that set my failed marriage on a collision course with God’s Will…

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